The Two Months Mark

Two months approaches

I get restless and panicked.

I want to stay but it is my time to leave.

Leave before I fall deeply in love and become too exposed,

too vulnerable. I expect you to hurt me.

I expected every single one of them before you to hurt me.

So I leave before it happens.

I leave before they have a chance to hurt me even more.

The disillusions and emotional bruises of short-lived beginnings I can handle.

What I am not sure I can handle is long term trust broken.

Being suffocated by the image of the woman you want me to be.

I am so afraid of not being able to live up to those ideals.

Are they your ideals or my own?

Written: 15/01/2020